Introduction

meester and I have been together since August of 1998, meaning that this proposal -- while still romantic and possibly something of a surprise -- is hardly something that comes out of the blue, and isn't something I can prepare for at home easily, since we share everything (birthday presents are hard enough!).

I feel compelled to make this proposal a story, as every young marriage repeats its engagement story over and over. MyParents have a fabulous story, as do HisParents. Additionally, both HisSister and MyBrother have gotten engaged and/or married recently, and both have beautiful stories to share. At some level, there's no point in us getting engaged if it's not for the story and the announcement, everyone believes in our partnership and the strength of our bond already, and on top of that, we signed a domestic partnership agreement in August of 2005.

I want this proposal to be inclusive and social, that celebrates all the people who love and support us, because OurRelationship has been a very private affair thus far (we are both reclusive minanthropes in a lot of ways, and our social lives have never fully overlapped), but I also want it to honor the intensity and self-sufficiency of OurRelationship in private. This is a difficult line to draw. Additionally, I am struggling with the fact that I want everything to be profound, perfect, and completely symbolic, and I doubt that those things are critical to his conception of getting engaged, and I doubt that over-thinking everything will make the final proposal any better.

My idea for involving our families, friends, and worlds in this proposal, which is why I have invited you all here, is a way of splitting the proposal process into two parts, one cryptic and public, one decoded and private. The bifurcation of the proposal process is too much fun to give up, gives me the chance to build up the proposal over the course of a week or more, and saves me from planning some elaborate romantic crap. Additionally, by using the mail, people from all over the country and globe can participate in the game -- thus meaning that even the public and cryptic aspect of the proposal will happen in our own home (the mail will come every day to our apartment with new surprises).

The Final Plan

The plan has been approved (and oohed and aahed) by our new landlady, she says a bunch of small packages shouldn't be a problem, and that our mailman is really sweet. Now I need to decide if I want anything to arrive at Ry's workplace for him, instead. I think I'd prefer our home.

When: NOW!

Who: You!

What: I would like each of you to mail meester something cherry themed or flavored -- even better if it has some relevance to whatever he knows/likes about you (some examples might include cherry blossoms from your tree, cherry-printed frisbee, black cherry soda, cherry garcia ice cream, cupcake with a cherry on top, jar of maraschino cherries, cherry temporary tattoo, cherry-smoked bacon, cherry wood cutting board, sour cherry lambic, cherry jam, cherry printed apron, cherry blossom tea, cherry nightlight, cherry candle, cherry candy (jelly beans, cordials, whatever), cherry pitter, cherry juice/syrup, Cherry Popping Daddies CD (he has Zoot Suit Riot already), cherry pie larabar (his favorite), etc.)-- in the mail. This can be as cheap or as expensive as you like, as your budget permits, and I am willing to reimburse you for the cost of something small (under $10) and postage.

Where: Our new apartment (please email intimidating if you need the address)

These gifts will, of course, instigate my private proposal, and that's the scary part. My hope is that if all your presents come over the course of a week or so, then at some point I'll simply be too amused to keep the secret any longer, or he'll be too confused and will ask me for an explanation. I want meester to get new or silly mail every day or two and ask me about it until I can't keep the ring anymore, so that I don't have to overthink,and that it happens spontaneously. Yes, I am planning for spontaneity, but for those of you who know me well, you'll know that I sometimes have to do that.

I love that this will be a game or a puzzle for meester (the only man I know who will solve and re-solve tavern puzzles for the fun of it), and I love that it will happen in our home. meester and I always race to get the mail each day, and he loves getting mail immensely. So in creating this puzzle of multiple cherry deliveries, I am able to reference just a few of his small, cute quirks and save myself the torture of trying to be suave and romantic on cue.

Old Ideas

• everyone send meester photos of themselves with one word or all of "marry me, meester?" on a sign
• everyone send meester pictures of themselves in their homes, favorite places, or with their partners holding signs that say "yes" or "say yes"
• everyone send meester small gifts which revolve around either cherries (the fruit or the wood), or three m's (examples might be a jar of "Mamma Mia Minestrone," or a 1950's cherry temporary tattoo, or a DVD of the British show M3, something carved out of cherry wood, or sour cherry lambic, ads cut out of the paper that say "mmm...")
• everyone record a small clip of recollections about meester and I together, some story or anecdote of the two of us that you particularly like, and send it to me for compilation
• everyone send meester a cherry flavored ring pop from a candy store
• everyone send meester something ring-like or cylindrical (bagel, donut, etc.)

What do I do??? Do I bake the ring into a cherry pie? Do I bottle it into some beer we make? Do I hide it somewhere in the apartment? Do I get down on one knee over dinner? Do I leave it somewhere for him to find when I'm not home? Do I slide it on his finger while he's asleep? Do I find somewhere meaningful to pop said question (god, everywhere is meaningful when you've been together this long, damn!) Do I write him a letter, prepare a speech, make a mix CD or create a book of our history?